Gosh it’s been a whirlwind fall! School started in September like usual. But it’s been non stop crazytown ever since. The twins started preschool unexpectedly a few weeks after the big girls. They go for a couple hours a day, 3 days a week. The same week they started school we had an evaluation with Pearl and learned that she has sensory processing disorder (SPD). It nailed so many issues on the head. But it’s be a lot to navigate her needs these days on top of keeping everyone alive like normal.
Pearl seeks sensory inputs in proprioceptive, vestibular and tactile areas. I myself am a bit of a sensory avoider. So it’s a weird match for us. She does all the things that I cringe at thinking about. Spinning on a swing? She’s all about it. I would throw up. Jumping and crashing? She’s craving it and wants to do it over and over and over. I’d rather walk barefoot in the snow than jump and crash like her. She loves messy play. I’m talking smearing things all over her body and immersing herself in all the gross things. I don’t even like getting my hands wet. (Don’t worry. I still wash my hands. But anything beyond a quick hand wash makes me cringe)
We’ve notice big changes. I’m with her every day. And I’ve learned to see when she’s about to have a melt down and I’m able to change directions and help her avoid them. But that of course comes at a cost. There’s only 1 of me and 5 of them. If I give her all of my attention in those moments I’m basically turning my back on the other 4. There’s inevitably always some kind of repercussions when that happens. So it’s one step forward and 4 steps back. Retracting and fixing what happens in these moments reminds me of my struggles with ADHD. My brain swirls and gets so overwhelmed and almost debilitating. So I work so hard to avoid this whole scene.
Some days I have the kitchen spotless when I wake up (from staying up late the night before of course), I do some kind of epic adventure or project with the girls, I get a nice dinner made and the laundry gets done. Some days I wake up to dishes backed up which immediately causes me anxiety and sets the tone for the day. The kids are fighting and everything seems to be going wrong. I feel like I want to give up by 8:30 am. I spend the whole day on survival mode and count down the hours till everyone is in bed and I can breathe again. I hate those days. I hate who I become on those days. I know the girls hate those days. I wish I knew the formula to a successful and good day daily. But I suppose that would get boring after a while. Something worth noting though. The days I seem to have everything pulled together… there’s always a ball that’s been dropped. Usually it’s my own self care.
Yesterday I planned a fun activity for Pearl and Juniper. I chose it because it’s perfect for Pearl’s tactile and proprioceptive needs. But they both enjoyed it! We made taste safe “hot coco play dough cookies”.
This was a simple combination of instant chocolate pudding (this was the good Godiva kind because I gave up sugar recently and figured we’d just use it up!), water and a ton of corn starch. But omg was it sticky and messy to make!!!
When the dough *finally* came together I gave them each a ball of delicious cocoa scented dough and a rolling pin. The rolling was a good activity for Pearl’s sensory needs. Then the fun part. I added tiny marshmallows to each girl’s dough to roll in! Of course they ate some. But it was fun! Ig reminded me of the slime with the added glitters and sequins. But our dough was so nostalgic and whimsical!
After we rolled the marshmallows in we made logs of dough and each girl cut rounds of dough that looked like cookies! We pretended to bake them and put them on plates!
This experience was a hit for the ladybugs. I’ll definitely do it again! But next time I need to be more prepared to handle the sticky mess! I swear I was scrubbing chocolate dough from my own hands and arms for hours!
This day was a good example of having everything seemingly together. But the truth is- the ball that was dropped was me! I didn’t have time to do anything for myself. I was exhausted and grouchy by evening. And as it turns out- Lavender was the only one of the ladybug to eat the dinner I worked a hard on! Oh well. Each day is a new day and brings new challenges and hurdles and areas to grow and things to learn.
Ladybug Mama, a peek at life with 5 girls… 